I've been staring at these pieces I started over a year ago now.
Trying to figure out what they need to make them done.
And move on with my life.
And then I read
this post from Jeff about shipping.
and I knew that was me.
it's fear.
fear dressed up as
indecisiveness.
procrastination.
The truth: I have about 6 series that are
completely stalled right smack dab in the middle.
And I haven't listed any new paintings in so long.
because I don't want to ship.
And I've been avoiding painting for so long
because
a.) I was burned out
and
b.) I felt so overwhelmed and lost and confused every time I got my paints out.
and now I'm realizing that that feeling is fear
creeping in so stealthfully (word?)
so here I am finishing. finishing. finishing.
and if you don't like it, I don't really care.
Because it's my art and I shipped it.
And honestly, the practice of shipping,
putting it out there,
whatever it may be,
begets shipping.
Stalling, procrastinating, making excuses
only feeds the gremlins.
and begets procrastination.
And the crazy thing that I keep learning is that it's all connected.
All the fear and all the risk taking.
It's not just art.
When I'm brave in my relationships, it begets bravery in my art.
When I'm fearful about meeting my neighbors it silences me in my art.
It makes me want to hide and cover up and crawl inside a cave or something.
All I can think of is Brene Brown talking about shame.
And how shame is feeling embarrassed about who we are at the core of our being
And how Eve must have felt.
And that I know in my head that shame is a lie from the pit.
The truth?
I am God's spoken poem.
His masterpiece.
His work of art.
created brand new
in Christ Jesus
to do the good things that only I can do.
that he planned for me to do.
when he made me.
Ephesians 2:10
Okay, time to ship.
